


paper rings

by mayaetienne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), also there's maria opening presents from natasha, also who invented clint calling nat tasha cause i strongly dislike it, cause i will never forgive the russos for killing natasha, if you stan mcu clint this is not for you, me turning it into a multi-chapter fic sporadically? yes, plus me over using bold capitalisation so there's that, seriously i take the piss at him here, will probably make you cry by the time you get to the last one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 09:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayaetienne/pseuds/mayaetienne
Summary: She's seen hundreds of people die, the shock from it doesn't have any impact on her anymore. She thought she couldn't feel grief for anyone anymore. Turns out grief has a way to catch up on Maria, and it hits her even harder after she finds something Natasha left behind.





	paper rings

_ We've found a way to get everyone back. I've found a way to get _ ** _you_ ** _ back. Fuck. I love you. I'm so sorry I never got to tell you. I love you so much. So much. I wish we could have more time together. _

She can hear her voice breaking.

_ Just _ _one last time_ _ . I'm sorry I've got to go. I hope you say yes. I love you Maria. I love you, please always remember that. _ The phone clicks dead. 

* * *

"Maria, you've got to understand that Tasha wanted me to live."

"No, she wouldn't want someone who went on a killing spree**,** to be alive." Maria lashes out at him. She's really wants to kill a certain archer in the room. Grab one of his arrows and point it to his chest. But there wouldn't be much of a precedent if that happened. 

"Maria, I get you're mad but-" Clint tries to reason with her. 

"_Mad?_ " She slams her hands down on the steel table and the ringing haunts them for seconds. "Don't call me mad. I'm not the one who turned into a fucking murderer in the 5 years I was dead." She says it with such intensity, Clint shrinks down into his chair. 

She takes a shaky breath in. "You know what she did? She helped kids who parents were in the snap. She gave them new lives, gave them a future. You know what the ironic thing is? She gave them all a future, but she had hers taken away from her." 

"All you did was kill hundreds of innocent people because you were mad that your family was snapped. Guess what Barton? While fixing your family, you ruined so many others . You ruined _mine." _

"And you couldn't even get her a proper fucking funeral_._" Her voice is on the verge of tears. 

She stands up and kicks the chair she was sitting on. The screech it gets from being dragged on the ground is deafening. "Don't call me." 

"I was grieving. That's why I killed those people. I thought I could get them back" Clint says quietly.

She freezes and turns on heels. 

"Millions of people were grieving Barton. None of them turned into a psychopathic murderer, because they were smarter than that." She lowers her voice. "Laura deserves better. Your kids deserve better." She heads out but stops before the door.

"You don't deserve to call Tasha. You don't deserve anything."

* * *

She didn't realise how much she wanted a domestic life until she moved in with the Stark's. She helps Pepper with Morgan and she can't help but think that she wanted this. She wanted a family with Natasha. She wishes she told her earlier. 

One time Maria was playing with Morgan she tells her a story.

"Aunty Nat used to teach me ballet. She was very good at it, she looked like a princess when she was dancing." Morgan tells Maria as she's twirling around the living room. Maria thinks it's miraculous she hasn't hit the couch yet.

She gives her a smile. "Oh really?" 

"Yes! She even got me a tutu skirt for my birthday! She got everybody presents, even you Maria!" 

Natasha had gotten her presents for every year she was gone. 

She grabs Morgan. To stop her from falling, and to take her where Natasha had kept those presents. 

"Show me."

* * *

**4th April 2019**: Hi. It's your first snap birthday. I probably shouldn't call it a 'snap birthday', sounds depressing. I really, really miss you. The days are so much longer without you. Does that even make sense? God I sound like a cheesy rom-com film. I got Steve to teach me how to draw, it's not good, but it's a picture of you and me before Ultron. Apparently, Stark was being sneaky and took some photos. Yeah. I hope you like it. I miss you. 

Inside the envelope, there's a lead drawing of Nat and her on the couch laughing. They look carefree, happy. Back when everything was easier.

She turns the drawing over, and there's a note. 

We were probably laughing at Steve trying to hit on you by giving you his jacket. - Nat

**4th April 2020**: You might be wondering why there's a cat collar. It's cause I got you a cat. His name is Liho. And he's adorable, please take good care of him. Also Pepper and Tony had a kid. They finally got their shit together. Her name is Morgan, and I can already tell she's going to be like Tony. It's been two years and I still miss you so much. (I'm sure Liho will probably walk in, the cat's probably freaking telepathic or something.)

Right on time, Liho walks in and settles himself into Maria's lap. 

She tilts her head to look at him and puts on the cat collar. "You are adorable." 

**4th April 2021**: I got you a leather jacket. Your only good one went with you. Clothes stealer. We both know it was mine first. Anyway, the gays alway say, 'you can't be gay without a leather jacket'. Ok no one says that, but it reminds me of you. It's been three years and I still haven't moved on. I don't know if I ever will. 

**4th April 2022**: Steve is still up to his bullshit on saying we should '_move on'_. Bullshit. Sorry to dump this emotional load on your birthday. I got the kids from the orphanage to help me make your present. It's you, Liho and I in a picture made by the kids. You can tell they went ham on the dried macaroni. I don't want to say it, but I'm losing hope. I don't know if I can get everyone, if I can get **you** back. 

**4th April 2023**: So. I got you a ring. Actually I got it New Year's ages ago. Been waiting. Whether it's an engagement ring that's up to you. (Though I do hope it's an engagement ring.) Fuck it, this is me asking you to marry me. Wish I could actually ask you in person, but you know. You're probably, kinda dead. Sometimes I imagine what it would of been if Thanos hadn't snapped. Maybe we would've got our shit together and moved in. Maybe we would've gotten married earlier. Maybe we would've run away from them. From all of this. Lived out our lives till we die with three kids, a cat and a dog. Live out in the country. Maybe we would of finally been _happy._

She opens the box. There's a simple rose gold band with a tiny triangle shaped diamond ring. The box has a date engraved, 4th April 2019. 

She had wanted to ask her ages ago. Before Thanos. 

Inside the box, there's a crumpled up note. 

'Maria Hill, will you marry me?' 

As she puts on the ring she says a silent prayer, thanking whoever led them to meeting. Led her to be happy. Led her to loving someone. 

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one's dead, one's a skrull so here you go, i made a better ending for you! (even though one is still dead, but the other isn't a skrull anymore!)
> 
> i'll leave you with this: 
> 
> give 👏🏼 natasha 👏🏼 fcking 👏🏼 romanoff👏🏼 a 👏🏼 proper👏🏼 funeral👏🏼
> 
> -  
[blqckhill](https://twitter.com/blqckhill) on twitter

**Author's Note:**

> this is me fighting for natasha to have a funeral  
-
> 
> **[VALKYRIEWIDOWS](https://twitter.com/VALKYRIEWIDOWS) **on twitter


End file.
